Take that, Target!

Just when I think I've seen it all, my Walmart has started offering Valet Parking.

Multi-tasking, per a 5 year old girl

"Maddy, what did you do at the Y today?"

"Oh, we played house with Cade and his friend Stephanie. Cade was the dad, Stephanie was the mom, and I was the dog, cat, lion, teenager, little boy kid, little girl kid and the baby."

I've decided to call this post "Baby in the Pantry"

BABY PROOFING CHECK LIST:

Toilet seats down: CHECK

Bathroom doors closed: CHECK

Cabinets and drawers latched shut with babyproof plastic things: CHECK

Polly Pockets and crayons put up on a high shelf: CHECK

Trash can lid locked: CHECK

Dishwasher latched shut: CHECK

Move all chairs away from patio table so he can't climb up and flip it: CHECK

Move computer off desk in bonus room down to kitchen/bar area: CHECK

Move computer chair away from desk so he can't climb up and get the phone, printer, and pens: CHECK

Those are just a few of the steps we've taken to make life sane.

So apparently, he got a little bored. There was nothing left for him to get into, so he's now attacking the pantry on a regular basis. Moving on:

All Dangerous food items moved off the lower shelves: CHECK

Then he had the nerve to use this storage bin to stand up on to reach the glass jars.

I give up.

American Idol Top 10, March 25

Matt Giraud, "Let's Get It On." This is ambitious--tackling a Marvin Gaye CLASSIC. I was glad to see him get out from behind the piano--I was afraid that was becoming a crutch for him. I thought his version was amazing! I liked how he started with just his voice and the piano, but then built up to the band and backup singers...it was great.

Kris Allen, "How Sweet It Is." Not sure why he has numbers on the shoulders of his shirt. I'm not really getting his wardrobe choice tonight. His song is just fine. A little on the cutesy side. Nothing amazing or overwhelming for Kris' performance tonight.

[Total Aside: I am watching this episode on my new & lovely DVR and I fast forward through all the commercials EXCEPT...the Sonic commercials! Those of you who know me know that I do love some Sonic Diet Coke with vanilla about once a day....but apart from that, those commercials make me laugh! The newest one with the mom & son just cracks me up..."I was taking a nap and you woke me up saying, 'mama needs a junior candy sundae.' "]

Scott McIntyre, "You Can't Hurry Love." Nothing amazing in this song for me. Please, please don't get me wrong: he is talented, that is true. He can tickle the ivories and he can carry a tune, but it just isn't "wow-ing" me tonight.

I think the judges are being very generous tonight.

Megan Joy, "For Once In my Life." What happened to her last name? Where's the Corkey? Anyways, her hair, jewelry, dress and performance all add up to make me think "cabaret cruise ship singer." NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. In fact, that's a secret ambition of my own (well, ok, it's not such a secret--most people know that about me). But, cabaret cruise ship singer and American Idol cannot co-exist within the same being.

Anoop Desai, "Ooh Baby Baby." I don't really know what to say about this. I guess I agree with Kara: he did a pretty good job. It was fine, but I was a little bored.

Michael Sarver, "Ain't Too Proud to Beg." He looks too happy and giddy to be begging his woman not to leave. He's just having a good time with this song--he's not connecting with the emotion of the song. I ain't too proud to beg you NOT to vote for. PLEASE, please please....let him go home.

Lil Rounds, "Heatwave." It was alright. I thought she would completely shine here--but I didn't find anything spectacular. I think she's cute as can be, though--great personality!

Adam Lambert, "Tracks of my Tears." This is my FAVORITE Motown song. ELVIS? He looks like Elvis. With a plastic wig. But, I am totally loving the arrangement. It was completely original and amazing. I might be downloading this one from itunes.

Danny Gokey, "Get Ready." Lots of energy and a solid vocal performance, but it seemed a little old fashioned to me. It wasn't very original. I understand that it's a classic song and there's not much to change or tweak....but after hearing Adam's completely original performance before him, Danny needed to bring something more artistic to the table.

Allison Iraheta, "Papa was a Rolling Stone." This girl is too young to be this good! She is so comfortable on the stage and shows such maturity in her stage presence, vocals and the fact that she can stand (much less DANCE) in those heels astounds me.

American Idol, Top 11

Here we go--another round:

Michael Sarver: "Ain't Goin' Down Til the Sun Comes Up." I didn't think this showed any range at all. The song only had about 3 or 4 notes total through the whole thing and it was hard to understand.....even for me who knew most of the words. On another topic....did you see the harmonica dude holding a microphone and harmonica-izing at the same time? Talent. Pure talent. But, we're not voting for harmonica dude. We're also not voting for Michael Sarver. I think he's performed his last time on this stage.

Allison Iraheta: "Blame It On Your Heart." She can actually pull off a country song! Her voice suits country, which I was surprised to hear. What's ironic is that Patti Loveless also has an unnatural shade of red dye on her hair just like Allison. Coincidence? I think not.

Kris Allen: "To Make You Feel My Love." No guitar tonight? He did well! The falsetto note at the end was a dangerous move, but he did it and it worked. Randy called him "a Tender Dawg" and I agree--it was a great performance. He had really good vocal control through the entire song.

Lil Rounds: "Independence Day." Did you know that magenta is the color of spring this year? It is. Go out and buy yourself some hot pink to wear just like Lil did tonight---she looked lovely! Her song, however.....very flat. Didn't like her performance which surprised me because I was under the impression that she could do no wrong. She'll still be back next week. Hopefully by then, Simon will realize that her name is LIL, not LITTLE, and that LIL can be short for names like "Lily" or "Lillian."

Adam Lambert: "Ring of Fire." I hated this performance. I agreed with Simon--it was terrible.

Scott McIntyre: "Wild Angels." Looks like a stylist got a hold of his hair--THANKFULLY. He had a much better haircut this week. Regarding his performance, it was miles better than last week. I didn't think he deserved to be here last week....but this week was such an improvement that I have decided to let him stay. Especially since he got a decent haircut. Anyways, I liked the stripped-down beginning of the song.

Alexis Grace: "Jolene." It wasn't nearly as "edgy" as her past performances, but I still enjoyed it. I wish she'd done something modern with a little rock to it by Sugarland or Gretchen Wilson.

Danny Gokey: "Jesus Take the Wheel." I didn't like the verse but the chorus was amazing. He seemed so disconnected to the emotion of the song during the verses--it was like he didn't really know what he was singing. But the soul shined through on the chorus. The crowd loved it.

Anoop Desai: "You Were Always On My Mind." Oh boy, I was nervous when he said this was what he was going to sing. He was going for the stripped down, vulnerable Anoop--perhaps trying to be a "Tender Dawg" like Kris Allen. I actually had CHILLS listening to him sing this. It was fabulous. Simon said he went from "zero to hero"--his favorite performance of the night. I think I agree. (Sorry Danny, sorry Kris--I'm still a fan, but Anoop won me over...just for tonight.)

Megan Joy Corkey: "Walkin' After Midnight." The first thing I'll say is that she needs more supportive undergarments. OK, moving on, her makeup looks great. ONTO THE MUSIC....which I know is what we're really judging here...I didn't think she really made it her own--it still sounded like Patsy Cline's version to me. I mean, there was a little bluesy-ness to it, but it still sounded like Patsy to me. So apparently, she's been in the hospital with the flu, and I think the judges are giving her extra good marks because they're judging her not just as "MEGAN" but as "MEGAN WITH THE FLU." Anyways, I thought it was fine. Not super memorable, but it was fine.

Matt Giraud: "So Small." Big night for Carrie Underwood with 2 of her songs being performed tonight. What a great tribute to her since this is where she got her start. I think this was a pretty solid performance--except the very last note was flat. Very vulnerable, solid performance by a talented guy.

March Madness To Do List:

1. Watch ESPN's "Bracketology" special.
2. Watch games I DVR'd and analyze all 64 teams' strengths.
3. Now, analyze their weaknesses.
4. Create an Excel spreadsheet analyzing each team against their 1st round opponents.
5. Check out some college hoops message boards and see what the buzz is.
6. Fill out my bracket.

OR...

I could just do what I normally do. Here's a list of questions I use to help me decide who to choose since I have not watched one single basketball game this entire year:

1. Did I know somebody who went to that school?
2. If so, did I like them? Pick that school to win if that person was nice to me.
3. Does that school have a fun mascot? Pick them to win if it's a good mascot. Not something scary. Unless it's a pirate because mascot pirates are cool, not scary.
4. Does that school have good colors? Do the colors go well with my hair and skin tone....like, could I actually wear their sweatshirt & look decent?
5. Would I ever want to take a road trip to this school? Is it in a nice locale?
6. Did I go to school there? OH WAIT. KENTUCKY is going to the NIT, which stands for the "Not Invited Tournament"). Sorry, cats, I can't pick you to win this year like I usually do.

So, there you have it. My family does a yahoo group which features a "smack talking" message board and some serious bracket pickin'. There's a traveling trophy/plaque that my name is YET to appear on (wonder why?). It's spent the last year in my 1 year old nephew Max's room....which basically means Keith submitted more than one bracket which is totally against the rules.

Here's to "Ellen's Elite Athletes" and a fabulous 2009 journey to the final four! Will keep you posted on my standing.

NBA Week

So, apparently it's NBA week at our home. We had the obsession with Michael Jordan going on earlier this week, but now the focus has shifted.

I had to take John to the doctor this morning where he was diagnosed with mild bronchitis.

After we left, he wanted to know more about this condition and the word "bronchitis" kept coming up in the conversation. He kept getting the word mixed up though and had a variety of pronunciations (newbronchtos? mabronchiotisis?), but my favorite, perhaps, was named after his favorite current NBA player:

LEBRON-CHITIS

(That's Lebron James, for all you moms-of-daughters-only out there)

American Idol: Top 13, recap 1

I've been waiting....not so patiently....for the top 12 on AI to commence so I could begin a new blog series. Well, now it's the Top 13 and here I go:

Lil Rounds: Um, yes. She is good, better, and best, all wrapped up into one. Loved her spin on "The Way You Make Me Feel". A little bluesy, a little soulfulness--loved it! So comfortable on the stage. That is the way to kick it off, Lil! And, contrary to Simon's critique on her style, I loved her top! The one-shoulder number suited her just fine.

Scott McIntyre: "Keep the Faith" I do like his piano skills. He is unbelievably talented, but his vocals, y'all, his vocals are not "Top 12 (13?)" material, in my book. I know that's going to be controversial for me to say that--you're thinking, "but he's blind! the obstacles he's overcome! doesn't that count for something?!?" And, yes it does. But I'm going to stand by my original stance that his vocals don't "wow."

Danny Gokey: "PYT." LOVE HIM. I was so fearful that he'd start to fall apart during the Top 12 (13?) when they started picking themes and was nervous that he wouldn't be able to handle a Michael Jackson song....but he did. With pizazz. And then some. Paula sees him going all the way to the finals and I believe we'll follow him all the way there.

Michael Sarver: "You are Not alone" Good vocals. But a touch boring. Sorry.

Jasmine Murray: "I'll be there." She has a great voice, but I'm going to agree with the judges that she needs to add some youthfulness to her vibe. Oh, there goes Randy with a "name drop." He cracks me up when he throws a name like "I recorded that with Mariah..." out there as if he's still trying to establish his credibility for being on the judging panel.

Kris Allen: "Remember the Time" Sadly, I don't 'remember the time' that this dude went to try outs or Hollywood Week and I don't 'remember the time' he sang during Top 36. So, I was a little confused when he showed up on stage with a guitar--he was brand new to me. But, IMPRESS ME he did! Loved his version of the song. Couldn't hear the guitar at all, though--I kept asking Michael if he could hear it or if they had it unplugged or what? So, was that just for "looks" or stage-comfyness so he didn't have to feel awkward to figure out what to do with his hands/make up dance moves? Who knows. Hopefully, next week we shall find out! I liked him--really, really liked him! I felt so bad for his wife when Simon suggested that he should've kept her hidden for a while [in order to get more female votes, I guess]. She looked extremely uncomfortable. Randy redeemed the comment though when he said "love the song....love the wife...." or something like that.

Allison Iraheta: "Give in to Me" Song was fine. She's cornered the market on the "edgy rocker chick" personna. Please, stylist, make her change her hair to a normal color. PLEASE.

Anoop Desai: "Beat It." I like this guy. But. I did not like this song. WAY too karaoke. And I have seen my fair share of karaoke, so trust me on this one.

Jorge Nunez: "Never Can Say Goodbye" Great vocals. But, like I said about Michael Sarver: BORING. We ended up fast forwarding (I finally have DVR!!!) through part of his song. And, like I told Michael last night, generally I am biased against men who weigh less than me, so this was a strike against him before the song even began. Sorry, Jorge.

Megan Joy Corkey: "Rockin' Robin." Seriously? Did she just sing this song? Did she just tweet & caw her way through this? It was cute, but more like "cruise ship revue flash back to the 50's" cute, not "American Idol Top 12 (13?)" cute. I think this is going to send her home!

Adam Lambert: "Black and White" Do you remember the video for this song back in the day? It had people staring at the camera, doing a little dance, then suddenly, they'd morph into someone else...different nationality, etc-- Well, my sibs & I would stand in front of a mirror and try to re-enact that. We'd sing the song, then take turns stepping up to the mirror for a quick dance before going to the back of the line. ANYWAYS. That had nothing to do with Adam Lambert's performance last night, which was nothing less than that of a very seasoned performer who knows who he is and what his angle/market is going to be. There are all kinds of people like him here in Nashville who have been trying to make it in Country Music for YEARS and they are talented beyond belief. Anyways, he knocked it out of the park.

Matt Giraud: "Human Nature" Good vocals, nice piano. Forgettable, though. And, Yes, he still looks like Justin Timberlake.

Alexis Grace: "Dirty Diana" I thought she did a great job. She seems so emotion-less when facing the judges, though--you don't get any sense of her personality when she's interacting with them. But, judging on the performance, she's confident, sassy, got an incredible vocal range, and cute as a button. Even with the hot pink streaks in her hair.

Want some more reviews? Check out Boomama's blog and recaps by clicking here.

Michael Jordan

So, I mentioned the other day about our MJ project going on at home. John's school has a "parents-hands-on-do-it-at-home" project each quarter, so this time it was all about an African American history/biography subject.

I did the two projects last semester with John and it about did us in. Weeping and gnashing of teeth for both of us. He is the CLASSIC first-born: wants to do it all himself, he has it all under control and can handle it, thankyouverymuch. Therefore, I informed Michael that the next project was his. All his. I was DONE.

I thought I'd feel completely relieved and relaxed knowing that Michael was in charge of this one....but, can I tell you how hard it was for me to keep out of it?

Well, for one thing, one of my gifts to this world is that I don't procrastinate. Really. I don't procrastinate. So, when we were at T-48 hours for the project deadline and the two of them are outside playing basketball/baseball/chatting up the neighbors all weekend, I was getting a little nervous.

Last weekend, however, they did print off a wikipedia article on MJ, but the fight that ensued when Michael told John to read the whole thing (It's 18 pages!!!!! Why do I have to read all 18 pages!!! I already know everything about Michael Jordan!!! I just want to skim it and find the information on his education!!! I'm NOT reading 18 pages!!!") completely canceled out the punctuality of said research. It got to be comical after awhile--the time spent bemoaning the 18 page article (5 of which were citation pages, btw) could have been spent reading the 18 page article 2 or 3 times over. Again, classic firstborn.

So, as you can see, it wasn't all smooth sailing for Michael--he endured his own bout of weeping & gnashing of teeth over the wikipedia incident.

They got it done, though, people--got it done!! It is a beautiful project and I was glad to have taken my hands off and left them to it. If John gets a better grade on this than he did on the "Chocolate Fever" book report/poster project I helped with, Michael may get hired on to do the final quarterly project as well.

So, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: Without further adieu, I want to present to you.....

MICHAEL JORDAN, by John, 2nd grade

Make sure you read the text below--it's rich, I tell you:

P.S. I think I totally impressed my dad last night on the phone when he said he just saw MJ on tv at a NC/Duke game. He said, "you know, Michael Jordan went to college at North Carolina." In turn, I replied, "yes, that would be where he studied cultural geography." Anything else you need to know?

Various Asundry for March 8, 2009

Here's what's happening around here these days:

*Need to know anything about MJ? (that would be "Michael Jordan" for those of you less cool than I). We're your family. John's knee deep in research for his African American biography school program. Surprised he picked MJ? Not me. If it's not about sports, it's not worth his time, apparently.

*Finished basketball last weekend. Start baseball this weekend. Can't get a break around here!

*Saw Slumdog Millionaire last Sunday night. Did not like it one bit. So heavy. So intense. So not the "Best Picture" of 2008! But the Academy disagrees and they didn't ask me anyway.

*I am still training for the half-marathon in April. Long runs are up to 7 miles--over half-way there! Aiming to shave quite a bit of time off my old record, so we'll see...so far Micah (my neighbor/friend) is keeping me more than on track. Perhaps we're so busy sharing deep, dark secrets and baring our souls (yes, really) or discussing which of our children left our bodies more worse for wear after 63 months of pregnancies between the two of us (yes, really) that we don't notice how fast we're running. It's been quite the productive training regimen. We ran 7 miles in 65 minutes on Friday which may not sound fast to you....but it makes me feel like a Kenyan.

*Three cheers for some good spring weather we've had around here! We've all but slept outdoors the last few days and it's been marvelous.

*I'm getting ready to register Madeline for Kindergarten!!!! Where have the years gone??

Alright, off to put some dinner in the oven and squeeze in a quick run while it bakes-

They grow up so fast these days.

Saturday night, Michael took the 2 big kids to the Upwards Basketball End o' Season Celebration Extravaganza Night of Love and Peace and Victory [or something like that]. They sat with John's team and about half-way through the program, a boy from the team tapped Michael on the arm and asked him to hand a piece of paper to Maddy.

It was his phone number. He said, "Tell your daughter to call me."

WHAT?

My sweet (yet ravishingly beautiful) 5 year old daughter got an 8 year old's digits!

YIKES.

Michael promptly handed the paper back to the young lad and said "My daughter doesn't know how to use a phone and she won't be calling you."

Go dad!